Notes To Myself...Notes With Others

Notes To Myself…Notes With Others

February 01, 2022

Photography by Brent Yontz.

Have You Noticed…

by Roger C. Jones

Anger hinders critical thinking

Venomous comments don’t change minds

A hurting soul lingers underneath a mean person

Yesterday and tomorrow haunt the unfocused mind.

And…

Drab winter hydrangeas emerge in colorful spring splendor 

Crisp wind enlivens the body and lifts the spirit

Nothing rivals a yellow, orange and red summer sunset

We view dreamy distant stars when we look up

Inspiring music mesmerizes the soul into melodic rapture

One thoughtful exchange can change the course of a life

Only intention and concentration permit us to really listen

Every day, kindness emerges in many ways

Every way, love becomes a little stronger and

You are distinctive and unique and precious.

As Roger, my husband, and I were discussing his  poem, I asked  who he was thinking of as he wrote this poem, specifically the last line,  “You are distinctive and unique and precious”.  His response was, “No one in particular, I suppose it was more like notes to myself.” 

As we focus on friendship for the month of February, I want to focus on the idea of cherishing our friendships through the various seasons of life AND being intentional with our friendships in the current season of life.   

Recently Roger and I watched a special of Carole King and James Taylor.  Cue “You’ve Got a Friend”, a song that can catapult me back into my lime green bedroom on 62nd Drive in Lubbock, TX singing my fragile heart out to this song with my cassette player, designed with a hand-held mic especially for the dreamy teenager. What a time of negotiating friendships – those of middle school! Actually, discovering, nurturing, tending and growing friendships can be an ongoing process through each stage of our life.  It is an interesting process to look back at the “life map” of our individual friendships – each as unique as two fingerprints together.

Photography by Brent Yontz.

Friendship is such a rich experience and can bring up so fond memories of happiness and joy and intimacy and gratitude.  I am immensely grateful for friendships planted and nourished in the places I have lived – Seymour, TX; Lubbock, TX; Amarillo, TX;  Des Moines , Iowa; and now in Dallas, TX In addition to friends in the towns we have lived, there may be family or friends we have known a long time whom we cherish, and of course, the friends that we have only met or known briefly but that have carved a significant impact into our hearts. 

Each season of our life can hold invitations for friendships. At various times, our friendships will look differently.  We can also experience ruptures in our relationships that invite us to courageous and tender repair and restoration.  We so yearn for deep connection with others and at times it can get complicated.

I have admired the professional trailblazing of Virginia Satir, a pioneer in therapeutic work, and love her quote, “I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them, heard by them, to be understood by them and touched by them.  The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and to touch another person.”  When we hear of the ‘gift of friendship’, this represents the type of gift I would like to open and the kind of gift I so desire to give.

The invitation for connection and friendship for each of us is to be open to being our true selves, bringing our authenticity – the essence of who we are.  Yes, the vulnerability of such authenticity is palpable….and essential.  In Atlas of the Heart, the recently published book by Brené Brown, she differentiates Belonging and Fitting In, “Belonging as being somewhere where you want to be, and they want you.  Fitting In is being somewhere where you want to be, but they don’t care one way or the other”. Brené goes on to say, “Because we can feel belonging only if we have the courage to share our most authentic selves with people, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”  Challenging isn’t it?  

The challenge for growth-oriented friendships is great and the reward of connection gives the pulse of meaning and the heartbeat of joy within our being.

Photo taken in Red River, New Mexico.

When we can look at both ourselves and our friendships with the mantra in Roger’s poem, it seems that our love can become a little stronger:   

A Note TO Ourselves: “You are distinctive and unique and precious.” 

                 AND 

a Note WITH Others: “You are distinctive and unique and precious”, 

then, we are most likely to have created a soil that is rich for growth, rooted in connection as we seek the beauty within ourselves and within others.  

The questions to ponder in our friendships, “What is my Note To Myself?”  and “What is my Note With Others”?  

This month as we focus on Friendship, I will share images of people connecting with one another.  We need one another. We are better together.

I look forward to this journey about friendship with you. You are invited to follow me on Facebook and/or Instagram for daily posts of inspiration and encouragement about friendship. If you are not on social media, you can download the free PDF below or check it out daily on my website