Calm

by Roger C. Jones

Calm is…

The sun rising over the Eastern horizon

The sun falling when the day is done

A leisurely walk at the park, beach or your choice

Wholesome words said in a tempered voice

Calm is…

Snow blanketing the forest pines

Flames ascending from the campfire

A resting heart from deep breathing

A quiet mind at ease from guided thinking

Calm is…

Soft piano music

Birds soaring overhead

Phones at rest

Harsh words left unsaid

Calm is…

Destroyed by anger or

frustration or both

Restored by goodwill,

smiles and hope

Calm is…

Elusive yet

within

reach

Calm is…

Our soul’s

balm

The winter holiday season may be the last thing that comes to mind in thinking about calm. But the fact is, we have a choice in whether or not we get swept away by what our culture and advertising tell us our holidays “should” be: the endless to-do lists…the perfect holiday dinner…the perfect party...the perfect gifts…the perfect decorations. And let’s not forget the self-condemnation that occurs when something doesn’t turn out “perfectly,” or we simply can’t get through the list of things to do, buy, cook, create, plan, host, and attend.

“Are you joking?” you may be thinking. “Calm this time of year just isn’t possible!”

It is—if we choose to try a different path.

This year, I am choosing to lean into my values, and welcome what wants to twinkle and shine more brightly this holiday season. For me, this is the practice of Cultivating and Choosing Calm.

Brené Brown defines calm as creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity. In The Gifts of Imperfection, she writes, “When I think about calm people, I think about people who can bring perspective to complicated situations and feel their feelings without reacting to heightened emotions like fear and anger.”

If there were ever a complicated situation, it’s the holidays! Despite being a cherished time of joy and love, the holiday season brings its own special set of heightened expectations, increased activity, and large gatherings of people, in all their individual complexities. So I hope you will join me in celebrating the holidays together in a new way – by focusing on the love and togetherness and with an intention to try the practice of Cultivating and Choosing Calm. Can we take time to pause in the midst of the busyness, and give ourselves the gift of a calming breath? Can we say no to some of the holiday rush, and practice a moment of opening our hearts instead? Can we take the time to prioritize the things that are truly important, and let the not-so-important fall away?

The same goes for those unrealistic expectations so many of us have regarding the holidays. Unrealistic expectations are so often the thief of our joy. How can we really look deeply at our expectations and determine what might be unrealistic for us this year? What is it we might want to let go of? What is it we really want to give ourselves to?

Adjusting your expectations applies to the practice of Cultivating and Choosing Calm, too! It’s a challenge to find moments of calm anytime in our fast-paced lives, but especially during the holidays. If you forget to look for moments to cultivate calm in the midst of the busyness, don’t get discouraged. Just bring yourself back to the present moment, and in whatever space you have available, reorient yourself toward peace and calm. Challenging, isn’t it? May I offer an invitation to you?

What if we give ourselves permission to have an imperfectly beautiful holiday? Where could the beauty come in as we look with a bit of a wider lens this year?

A benefit of practicing calm is the compassion that flows from a heart rich with an inner peace. We have often heard, “Peace be with you.” I cherish the verse in Psalm 122:8 that says, “Peace be within you.” What an incredible image – peace within us. When we begin to practice the cultivation of calm, we begin to find that even in the midst of extreme busyness, there is a small, peaceful oasis deep within us.

To aid you in your practice, I will be sharing daily images and quotes of holiday beauty. I love Richard Rohr’s description of practicing awareness: “Here is an invitation: I encourage you to take some time today to focus on one single object. Focus on it not so much with your mind, but with your senses. See it for what it is—its texture, its shape, its giftedness, its gratuity, its color, its reflection of light, it’s isness.”

Use the image that I share (or an image of your choice) as a focal point – even for just a few minutes – as we practice calm. As much as you’re able, approach this exercise with no judgment and no expectations, and instead, with the attitude of a curious, kindly observer. What might the image stir within you? What do you notice about your breath as you pause? What happens as you linger with the image? Is there anything you need to let go of? If the image inspires you to kneel in prayer, what is touched within you?

“Calm is…our soul’s balm.” – Roger Jones